Golf Gazette: The wonder of golfing in the land of Oz

04/19/2012 3:00 AM |

You may not know this, but there is a beautiful golf course located in the Land of Oz. Yes, that Oz. Let me begin.

Back in the 1930s, the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, an avid golfer, built a magnificent golf course just outside of the Emerald City. Breathtaking magnolia trees line the entryway to the clubhouse and colorful azaleas abound the course along with dogwoods and pines. A most beautiful sanctuary, indeed. Built on a former plantation, Winkie National Golf Course has become a treasured jewel of golf in the Land of Oz.

Every April the top golfers from Oz compete for the honor of wearing the Emerald Jacket, an honor the winner carries with him for a lifetime. However, there were, and still are, some big problems at Winkie National.

During its early years, Winkie National allowed only those with green faces to caddy and allowed only blue-faced golfers to play the course. Getting pressure from the citizens of Oz, some of the rules at Winkie National were eventually changed, allowing anyone to caddy and play golf at the spectacular course.

However, one archaic and narcissistic rule haunts Winkie National to this day, and the rule comes directly from the Wizard, himself. Winkie National does not offer membership in the club to the women of Oz. It doesn’t matter if you’re a palace guard, a flying monkey, a munchkin, a witch. Unless you are of the male species, you are not going to receive an invitation to become a member at Winkie National Golf Club.

Giving credit where credit is due, Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, along with Glinda, the Good Witch, have lobbied for years, hoping to get the Wizard to open the doors of membership to women at Winkie National, unfortunately to no avail.

Here’s a story most people don’t know. A few years ago, the Wizard invited Elphaba, a 13-handicapper, to play Winkie National as his guest. The two were on the back nine when Elphaba hit a ball far to the right and into a water hazard. With no one looking on, the Wizard, pretending to help Elphaba retrieve her ball, came up from behind and shoved her into the water. He said it was an accident. That was the last anyone ever saw of the Wicked Witch of the West, no matter what you may heard about her demise.

Glinda, in addition to her duties as a witch, is now president of IMW, a large company that manufacturers magic wands. Glinda has been ignored at Winkie National and has yet to receive an invitation to join the club even though the former president of IMW, a male, was a long-time member.

The Land of Oz is a little more than 200 years old. How sad and unfortunate the powers that be at Winkie National discriminate as they do. The muckie-mucks at Winkie National should be ashamed and embarrassed. Good old boys are obviously alive and well at Winkie National Golf Club.

Let’s hope someday, and someday soon, the Wizard and his phony cronies will see the light.

Wouldn’t it be great if the ladies of Oz could just say, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”

BTW, congratulations to Bubba Watson on winning this year’s Masters Golf Tournament.