My son is spoiled.
I talked a big game before he was born. “Any kid of mine better get used to hearing the word no,” I’d say. “I’m going to limit the TV, the toys and the sweets.”
Then my wife gave birth to him three years ago and he’s been calling the shots ever since.
“The Secretary of War desires me to express his deep regret that your son, Russell M. Penny, was killed in action in defense of his country at Hickham Field, Territory of Hawaii, December Seventh. No remains can be transported to the United States until after termination of hostilities.” READ
Lately, it seems everyone just wants an escape from the election.
Last week, I had been planning a humor column about people posting on Facebook that they couldn’t wait for Election Day to pass so their newsfeeds could return to normal. READ
Shortly before my head hit the pillow at 2 a.m. Wednesday, I scanned Facebook to see how my friends were reacting to the news that Donald Trump would likely be the next president of the United States.
I was in the early stages of a fantasy football draft when I first noticed the code red alert at the top of the television screen: It called for all of Suffolk County to be evacuated.
My first reaction was: “This can’t be true.”
I remember the day I became a registered organ donor. I was 23 years old and a few months removed from leaving the State of New York for sunny Southern California. READ
About two years ago, I wrote a column entitled “Is Riverhead a Cracker Barrel kind of town?”
At the time, I was lamenting both the closing of the former Riverhead Project restaurant and an informal poll we had done among readers that determined Cracker Barrel was one of the five businesses they’d most like to see come to town. READ
About two years ago this newspaper conducted a reader survey in which some of you told us one of the biggest improvements you’d like us to make is to hire someone capable of writing a humor column.
For me, this suggestion was no laughing matter. READ