Frances Kijowski

Frances Kijowski left this life on Dec. 21, 2023, at Massachusetts Lowell General Hospital where she was treated for heart conditions. She was surrounded by her adoring family.

She was 96 years old and lived in East Quogue, Long Island, where she was born, the only child, to Mike and Julia Stokojlo, immigrants from Ukraine in the 1920s.

Frances was an indomitable force of nature. She was totally devoted to her ‘girls’ — Julie, Katherine, Mary and Frances. She always wanted the best for them and insisted, perhaps demanded, they stay close because, after all, for Frances, family is everything. Frances loved her granddaughter, Christina, Katherine’s daughter. She was so proud to watch her grow up to become professionally a successful consultant with her own business and a source of great support to her mother and father. Frances’ sons-in-law Fred Tirrell, Chris Kazanas, and Jim Finlay had tremendous respect for her and deeply appreciated her total devotion to them (and her cooking)!

Frances was married to her great love, Paul, for 64 years. They worked side by side every day, many years operating the family farm on Lewis Road in East Quogue and then they had a successful decorating business that Frances started with a dear neighbor, Reata Steiger, and for many years worked with her best and talented friend, Mary Markowsky, from Speonk. Working with the incomparable interior decorator Marcia Fox-Martin in Quogue was a great joy for both Frances and Paul, who often puzzled and had fun tackling the most difficult and challenging jobs!

Frances loved to bake and cook which prompted her daughter Mary to write a cookbook in Frances’ honor entitled ‘Anybody Getting Hungry?’ It was a huge success because it captured many traditional Ukrainian dishes and her favorite dishes with her special twists and ingredients. No one made better pierogis! Try as she did to instruct her daughters in the fine art of making pierogis, all agreed none came close to hers.

Frances loved her church, St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church in Riverhead, the church her mother and father helped to start in 1924. She was very fond of its pastor, Father Bohdan Hedz, for his spiritual leadership, and a welcoming enthusiastic personality that has brought more and more parishioners to the church. She especially enjoyed working the church’s annual chicken barbecue, where she was responsible for making gallons upon gallons of barbecue sauce for the chicken. She reluctantly but with great pride turned over the ‘secret recipe’ to Father Bohdan just a few years ago! Her daughters would not miss working the chicken barbecue in her honor. She was looking forward to attending the church’s 100th anniversary this coming year.

In the last years she could not live in her beloved home in East Quogue because of failing health. Yet, she loved living with her daughter, Frannie, who she called ‘her baby’ in Frannie’s townhouse in Tyngsboro, Mass., where she quickly settled in and made friends with her neighbors. She especially loved Frannie’s best friend, Janice Costa, who she taught how to play pinochle. They were always partners in the game, both sharing a deep competitive spirit! These pinochle games always reminded her of the many fun-filled times she and Paul had with their best friends John and Mary Markowsky and Bill and Jenny Fedun. They would take short trips to various places (Upstate New York, Washington, D.C., Cooperstown) always toting the red Naugahyde draw string bags that Paul had made to hold their pennies for poker. These red bags are treasured today by their children. They hearken back to happier times!

Upon her visits home in East Quogue she was always eager to see “the boys,” often coming with gifts of gallons of maple syrup from New Hampshire. They would each pop in to see Frances to keep her current on all that was happening while she was away. She looked forward to these visits because they shared a strong bond rooted in place and family. Edmund Densieski was the “best farmer” and she loved buying vegetables at his popular farm stand. They would talk crops and markets bringing her back to her life with Paul and reliving their farming days. Friend Kuroski’s exuberant and loving nature brought laughter and stories that made her laugh. They made sure her lawns and shrubs were tended to. She was deeply appreciative. Randy Kracke brought back memories of her close friendship with the neighboring Kracke family and whose father passed away way too young and his uncle, John, who Frances was very close to since the time he was a tot. She enjoyed her many visits with Paul’s niece, Donna Kijowski, who, having lost her parents at a very young age, looked to “Uncle Paul and Aunt Frances” for encouragement and wisdom.

Frances came to depend on Pete Lehman — her ‘boots on the ground’. Many years ago, Pete was hired to do various home improvements. It didn’t take long before Frances trusted him with many tasks and enjoyed his companionship and visits. Pete never failed to call her nearly every day to check in on her and was there for anything she needed that either he or his kind and generous wife, Linda, could do for her.

Frances had a special place in her heart for Maggie and her daughter Nellie, her ‘adopted granddaughter.’ Nellie called Frances ‘Grandma Orange’ because when Nellie was a shy little girl she loved ‘hanging out’ with Paul and he would tease her about how she pronounced the word ‘orange’. This became a common back and forth whenever they got together to the point, he became Grandpa Orange and Frances Grandma Orange.

In many ways, Frances had a hard life caring for ailing parents, raising four hooligans and making sure she could support them in pursing college educations, withstanding the many economic ups and downs in farming, losing her husband and many dear, dear friends. Without question, it was a full and rich life that included travel and new adventures, and most importantly the love she had for her family and the love she had in return from her devoted family.

Visitation will be held at McLaughlin-Heppner Funeral Home in Riverhead Tuesday, Jan. 2, from 4 to 7 p.m. The Funeral Mass will be celebrated at 10 a.m. Wednesday, Jan. 3, at St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church.

Frances will be buried by Paul’s side in East Quogue’s Oakwood Cemetery within a short walking distance from the preserved Kijowski farm. They will now rest, as they wished, with their many neighbors and friends who went before them.

In lieu of flowers, the family would be grateful if donations could be made in Frances’ honor to the St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Catholic Church, 820 Pond View Road, Riverhead, N.Y. 11901.

This is a paid notice.