Monica Mary Nolan
Monica Mary Nolan (née Horan) passed away on Oct. 26, 2024. Her 89 years were filled with faith, family and love.
Mona, as she was always known, was born on May 13, 1935, in Kilnaleck, County Cavan, Ireland, to Patrick and Mary Anne Horan. The family settled in Old Castle, County Meath, where Mona and her dear brother, Michael, grew up thick as thieves. Mona was an excellent student and, even as a child, displayed many of the talents and gifts that made her the Renaissance woman she became. As a teenager, she was a tennis champion and accomplished pianist. She moved to Dublin to work at the world-renowned Gresham Hotel, a decision that completely changed the course of her life.
There, she befriended Claire Nolan, who invited her to Donegal to meet two of her brothers who were home visiting from New York. When Mona met Claire’s brother Paddy, it was love at first sight. After six months of letter writing, the two were engaged and Mona flew to New York to wed the love of her life. They were married on April 30, 1966, at St. Bartholomew Church in Elmhurst, N.Y. Their marriage was a true partnership, friendship and love affair.
Mona and Paddy began their life together in Woodside, Queens, but moved to Southold in 1976 to give their three children a more rural and carefree life. Mona was fully engaged in the life of her children and in the civic life of the North Fork. She was a class mother at Sacred Heart School every year, rotating through her three children. She volunteered at Sacred Heart’s auctions and fundraisers; performed in plays and talent shows; and was a long-serving member and past president of the Rosary Altar Society. As a Rosarian, she served as a caring volunteer for the Consolation Ministry of St. Patrick’s Church. In addition, she was an active member of the Southold Yacht Club and a dedicated and caring volunteer at Birthright.
Mona was an accomplished administrative assistant, respected and adored by her colleagues, but it was her family and friends who flourished from her undivided focus and attention. She loved to chat while peeling apples with her sister-in-law Anne. If the two lifelong friends weren’t busy with Anne’s pie business, they could be found gleefully trekking to the Smith Haven Mall, children in tow. She enjoyed luncheons and dinners with dear friends. She loved finding treasures at yard sales and rooted for her Mets and Jets alongside her Paddy. She finished a bathroom and bedroom in her home, learning plumbing and carpentry, in order to give her girls more space. Much of this was done after a long day of work, just one of many examples of her sacrificial love.
Celebrating the graduations, weddings and ordination of her cherished nieces and nephews brought her great happiness. Her love flowed to the children of her nieces and nephews and she never missed an opportunity to participate in and celebrate their lives.
Mona loved to travel with her husband, Paddy, and enjoyed exploring Italy, Germany, Canada and Holland, bringing home small tokens to her children because they were always on her mind. She especially loved visiting Ireland with her daughter Catherine and her family, and escaping the cold gray winters to enjoy the company of her brother-in-law and sister-in-law, Joe and Anne, in Puerto Rico.
Becoming a grandmother to her 10 beloved grandchildren was one of Mona’s greatest joys. She participated in every event she could — graduations, Halloween hayrides, birthday parties and first communions. No event was too small. Even when travel became difficult, she would still journey to Wyoming or Massachusetts to be part of the lives of those she loved. When she couldn’t be there physically, she would send cards and small presents such as a hair bow for the first day of kindergarten or Easter chocolates, just to let that child know how cherished she or he was.
Mona never sought the spotlight and will be remembered for her loving and gentle way. She had a keen wit and sense of humor, however, and always offered easy conversation and a kind willingness to listen, as well as laugh.
Not without her share of health challenges, Mona never complained but faced them head-on with incredible strength, grace and dignity. She shone her bright and beautiful light on those she met in passing and on those she loved and cherished, and our lives will forever be richer for the gift of her love and life.
Mona is survived by her husband, Patrick, and her three children, Mairead Nolan (Victor Noel), Catherine (Robert) Holdman and Ciara (John) Knepper, and her grandchildren: Maeve, Sinead, John, Finian, Nolan and Monica Knepper; Patrick, Lucia and Timothy Holdman; and Arianna Noel. She also leaves cherished nieces and nephews and grandnieces and grandnephews. She was predeceased by her brother, Michael Horan, and her parents.
The family will receive friends on Monday, Nov. 4, from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. at DeFriest-Grattan Funeral Home in Southold. The Liturgy of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Tuesday, Nov. 5, at 10 a.m. at Saint Patrick’s R.C. Church in Southold. Interment will follow at Saint Patrick’s R.C. Cemetery in Southold.
In lieu of flowers, a memorial donation may be made to Naomi Berrie Diabetes Center. Please make your check out to the “Trustees of Columbia University” and include a note designating it for the Naomi Berrie Diabetes Center. Please send your check to: Office of Development, 516 West 168th St., 3rd floor, New York, NY 10032.
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