Karen Ross

Karen Ross of Mattituck passed away on Nov. 7, 2025. She was born on June 11, 1951 to Katherine Adele (Cook) and Anthony Romano in Brooklyn.

Karen was beloved by many, as she gave of herself to her family, friends, community, and clients, and had a way of connecting that made people feel seen. To her husband and daughters, she was the heart of the family: she anticipated needs, cooked wonderful meals, hosted festive holidays, spoke honestly, and loved unconditionally. She loved her friends; closeness with each one brought her joy in life.

She held her parents, her brothers — Robb and Greg — and her cousins very close to her heart. She liked to reminisce about Sundays during childhood in Syosset and, later, Dix Hills, when her big, Italian family would gather — cousins running outdoors; sharing a pasta meal; the adults playing cards into the evening. After high school, Karen attended Marietta College where she was president of Sigma Kappa sorority and earned an English degree in 1971. She loved her quaint Ohio college town with its rivers running through.

She met her beloved husband, Daniel C. Ross, at work in the ’70s. The two married on Jan. 10, 1981 and enjoyed 44 years of marriage — an example of enduring love, partnership, and dedication to family. True counterparts, she ushered his energy and momentum into orderly progress each day, and she believed their souls have been traveling together for more than a few lifetimes. In Mattituck, Karen and Dan raised their girls and gave freely of their time and energy to the community. Karen led the Mattituck-Cutchogue PTSA and the Mattituck-Laurel Library Board and was active in the Southold Town Democratic Committee, running successful campaigns for Dan’s runs for office.

Professionally, Karen cared deeply about her work as a paralegal and put exceptional organizational, writing, and people skills to use. She proudly excelled at Milbank Tweed early in her career and headed up complex cases alongside firm partners in New York City, a city that inspired her spirits for her entire life. Later, she brought her expertise to the North Fork, opening the Mattituck branch of Keegan & Keegan, Ross & Rosner with Dan in the mid-1990s.

Karen’s three daughters, Kait, Jill, and Meg (Kende) remember their childhoods as steady, playful, and cozy. Routines created safety and love; their friends were always welcome in the home. Her daughters remember her legacy in raising their own girls: Vera, Zoe, and Reese. Karen treated her sons-in-law, Lan and Stefan, with ease, warmth, and respect — they considered her not only a mother-in-law, but a friend to whom they could turn.

Her family and friends will always remember her generosity and compassion, tireless work ethic, and love of literature and music, especially poetry and ’70s singer-songwriters. Her spirituality brought her real comfort in life and carried her through her last weeks with peace and grace — a blessing for the family.

The wake will be held on Thursday, Nov. 13 from 4 to 8 p.m. at DeFriest-Grattan Funeral Home in Mattituck; the service will begin at 7 p.m. Funeral services will be held on Friday, Nov. 14 at 11 a.m. at Our Lady of Good Counsel Church in Mattituck. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the Mattituck-Laurel Library. DeFriest-Grattan Funeral Home in Mattituck is serving the family.

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